Curves v Counting 

Happy Easter ladies and gents. In January this year I composed a diary on calorie counting. I was obsessed with counting Syns. Points. Calories. I literally would spend 15 minutes sniffing chocolate because I was told it had the same effect as eating it but let me tell you compadre, this is a LIE.

Do you know the best thing about chocolate Is the yummy deliciousness of the taste when it melts in yer gub? I’d try everything for a chocolate hit. I would make a little go a long way. I’d freeze it and then sook a single square for what seemed like an hour. I’d buy a pack of milky ways because they are “lighter” but then eat the whole ten of them. I’d make “chocolate pots” using raw cocoa and an avocado, WTF! I’d literally do anything for that beautiful silky smooth taste.

I try and keep my habit in check. Most of the time I’m successful but have you ever heard of a Cadbury mint crisp. I swear there is nothing better in the wide world. Christiano Ronald could bring one to my house, with a Rose between his teeth and a ring box in his other hand; and do you know what I would do? I’d say cheers son, take the wee bar of heaven and shut the door on his coupon. No one needs to be disturbed during a mint crisp. NO ONE.

I admire people who take control of their weight for health reasons. To be fit for their kids. For self esteem. You go girls! I don’t care if a women wants to be Kate Moss or Kate Bush. I (shamefully) sometimes want to be so thin that people will walk by and admire me in my waif like glory while saying “oh and she had three kids and she is absolutely minute”. It won’t happen. I love a scram. Even in the photo I have cake. Food is my thing. (Side note I’m aware being too thin can be very serious, just highlighting my own weird mentality).

I hate body shamers be it “fat” or “skinny”. Just always be yourself but let me tell you this ladies. In a world where there is much sadness, a trump president, people going without, pressure of bills and so much more, never deny yerself a wee bit of chocolate. My advice this is easter is to give your children into “trouble” (children are always wideos so it’s easy to find something) and as a punishment tell them you MUST eat one of their eggs. It’s for their own good. You wouldn’t want to turn them into miserable wee bastards who don’t share right?

Happy Easter guys and dolls. 


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